Communication is the hardest art form. Sometimes I find it incomprehensible. I think it is a great success to meet a person with whom it is really easy and pleasant to communicate. And with whom you can really build a real high-quality dialogue - this is a rarity.
Looking at people, I realized that most are really focused on themselves. What will they think of me? How to present yourself? How to look successful? Complain about the fate, parents. Tell the story of your life, teach someone how to live, study or work. And basically communication is limited to small talks. Hello. How are you. All OK. Bye. We talk, but we don't hear each other.
Just like flipping through a feed on social networks, we scroll through a conversation with an “unnecessary” or “uncomfortable” person, throwing in passing phrases-comments-interjections between the endless stream of his speech.
Having a large number of simultaneous interpreters, we still have problems in communicating in different languages. Moreover, even speaking the same language, each person puts his own meaning into what is said and heard. Oh yes, communication is a lot of work 🙂
Here you need to think. Think before you open your mouth 😄
How do I build communication? Well, there certainly can not be any clear rules. All on a whim or on feelings.
At the first communication, it will most likely be a small talk. Here you can learn about the interests of a person, temperament, character. For me, the first contact with a person is very important. I can immediately determine whether I can build further communication with a person or whether I will have conflicts with him in the future. And I'm never wrong. If I liked a person from the first meeting, I will never stop liking him 🙂
The second and subsequent communication is already reaching a more detailed level. And if we again get a small talk, then I conclude that the person is not interested in me. At the same time, if I have to work in a team with this person, then in the future 99% there will be a conflict.
Fortunately, this happens quite rarely. And if it happens, then as an option, you can build a work with a minimum intersection with this person. And there's nothing to be done - to forgive and let go 🙂 But still, yes. It's not productive. Therefore, I am a supporter of all kinds of corporate psychological games and trainings or team building, so that people can open up from different angles, so to speak.
Further more difficult. Communication should not be awkward. No awkward questions. If a person wants - he will tell himself - about children, wives, husbands, exes, salaries, plans, vacations, etc., etc. Here the most interesting begins. Sometimes people lie and fantasize when they say such things. And sometimes not 🙂 Then you need to include analytics and logic. Having caught a lie, it is important not to break loose 😄 I have met only a few such people, but I have met.
I do not divide communication by industry. For example, at work one type of communication, home and friends - another. It seems to me that communication should always be the same. In my understanding, polite and tactful.
Of course, at work, I will not discuss my personal life with my boss for fun. But if something serious happens, for example, someone close to me gets sick, I will need to be able to say about it or explain the reason for my absence from the project. And how to do this if we are talking only about work? It is necessary that there be trust as between ordinary people who lead a normal life.
It is important to listen and hear. Listen - to understand how a person expresses himself. What words, phrases and turns of speech he uses, how he expresses his thoughts. There are impulsive people. They wave their arms when communicating and look very aggressive (sometimes it gets scary 🙂). But over time, you understand that this is their way of conveying their thoughts. And there are people who talk to you arrogantly. But this, too, can only be their way of presenting information.
Hear - what a person wants to convey to you. Analyze and ask questions. And I would say - read between the lines.
What is quality communication in my understanding? For me, it's more of an aftertaste after talking to a person. Or is it the result. Or is it the emergence of trust. For example, a colleague would discuss how to solve a problem and we found a common solution that both he and I like. We are both satisfied. We were able to agree.
Or maybe it's empty chatter, but after this chatter I grew wings. Or something more serious. When a person simply understands that you need help and can help at least with wise advice. At what all this condition should be mutual. And not just me or just the interlocutor. I can also listen and help. Encourage and soothe.
Communication is an essential part of life. And how pleasant it becomes to live and work when you manage to build a pleasant interaction with the people who surround you.
